I've been meaning to post on this topic for quite some time. **I wrote this when I was really frustrated with my hair***
Has anyone ever noticed the LACK of true, T-R-U-E, TRUE, 4b natural sistas out here? I have, I think I've come across a fellow 4b-er, and then I see curls when their hair is wet. I'm like, what the flip? Do true 4b's not go natural. I know and understand that the thicker your hair is...the less likely one may be to go natural. HONESTLY, my hair is a HANDFUL, and dealing with my 50% shrinkage rate sucks when my goal is to have long healthy hair.
If there are any true 4b's out there, holla at me, because I would love to see and know what the sistas with truly coarse, kinky, non-curly hair are doing to help maintain.
BTW, this is not a blow against sistas with more curly hair. You all are fabulous - love you much. I am however, stating that a 4b sista could use some help.
Peace.
Hair woes...hair utopia...hair bliss
My last excerpt was a true b!tch session, lol. As I continue to think about what I want to do with my hair, I realize that my hair struggles are directly connected with personal acceptance of my hair. Thus, I've concluded that right now, I'm struggling with accepting my hair. I hate to say it, but it's true.
One of the more recent posts from The Natural Haven discussed a concept of a 'hair utopia.' It was a great read - check it out! Readers were encouraged to comment on their own view of a hair utopia. It was evident that some women struggle with various "challenges" in being natural. However, there were other women who saw no struggle in being natural - after all, we're NATURAL - there shouldn't be any difficulty there! These women re-affirmed their beauty and accepted their hair for what it is.
I pondered these ideas of a hair utopia and I know that I haven't reached mine. I thought of my current acceptance issues with my hair: shrinkage & hair loss (from weekly detangling), attractiveness (tiny bit)*. I can't change the shrinkage rate of my hair. The best, protective styles for me, result in the most shrinkage. My question is, if I can't accept this, should I lock my hair again?
*For attractiveness, I sometimes do think I look better with more of the 'big hair' or stretched natural styles and straight hair styles than my traditional two-strands
I've got to be able to accept my hair for what it is...I long to reach my own hair utopia, and finally...hair bliss!
One of the more recent posts from The Natural Haven discussed a concept of a 'hair utopia.' It was a great read - check it out! Readers were encouraged to comment on their own view of a hair utopia. It was evident that some women struggle with various "challenges" in being natural. However, there were other women who saw no struggle in being natural - after all, we're NATURAL - there shouldn't be any difficulty there! These women re-affirmed their beauty and accepted their hair for what it is.
I pondered these ideas of a hair utopia and I know that I haven't reached mine. I thought of my current acceptance issues with my hair: shrinkage & hair loss (from weekly detangling), attractiveness (tiny bit)*. I can't change the shrinkage rate of my hair. The best, protective styles for me, result in the most shrinkage. My question is, if I can't accept this, should I lock my hair again?
*For attractiveness, I sometimes do think I look better with more of the 'big hair' or stretched natural styles and straight hair styles than my traditional two-strands
I've got to be able to accept my hair for what it is...I long to reach my own hair utopia, and finally...hair bliss!
Excerpts from the Diary of a Frustrated Hairmonger pt 1
I washed my hair on Sunday b/c my straight hair was starting to look a little crazy. The nice thing about straight hair is that when it's done, it's super cute. However, 5 days later, my curls were no longer bouncy and they went any which way they wanted - thus I looked CRAZY.
So, I washed my hair and I'm happy to say that my curls/elasticity bounced back FOR THE MOST PART. I had no completely straight sections of my hair, but some parts did show a looser curl pattern. My cousin says "that's normal, the more you wash, the more it will go back." I feel like I shouldn't have to worry about this at all.
The point in me being natural (w/o dreads) was to experience the versatility in natural hair. However my 4b strands are so sensitive that I can't experience this versatility in fearand actuality of my delicate strands being ruined! Thus, I am contemplating locking my hair again.
My original goal were two main things (and they're quite easy):
1. Be natural *b/c I love it & totally goes w/ my lifestyle
2. Obtain long hair
I don't have a problem with being patient to get long hair(it's not the easiest thing, but I don't have a problem w/ it). I feel like I've seen less hair retention in the past 3 months of being a free-strand natural than in the last 3 months when I had dreads. The maintenance and care associated with free-strand naturalness is very difficult with truly thick hair.
I was going to post about the fact that I don't see a lot of REAL 4b naturals w/ long hair on blogs/fotki (will post later) - this is probably why. The kinkier your hair is, the tougher it is to manage. Proper management leads to growth, thus it's probably not that we can't grow our hair long, it's probably just that the free-strandedness of our kinky coils makes it EXTREMELY difficult to achieve desired lengths!
Basically, I'm fed up with my free-strand hair, and when I had locks, I never complained about my hair. Right now, I'm battling: bad ends - they're knotted & dry AFTER my trim, dry scalp *although this was always an issue for me*, overall dry hair *no moisturizing regimen seems to work*, poor hair rentention *when I comb it out while washing, I always lose a lot*. I think I'm going back...
So, I washed my hair and I'm happy to say that my curls/elasticity bounced back FOR THE MOST PART. I had no completely straight sections of my hair, but some parts did show a looser curl pattern. My cousin says "that's normal, the more you wash, the more it will go back." I feel like I shouldn't have to worry about this at all.
The point in me being natural (w/o dreads) was to experience the versatility in natural hair. However my 4b strands are so sensitive that I can't experience this versatility in fear
My original goal were two main things (and they're quite easy):
1. Be natural *b/c I love it & totally goes w/ my lifestyle
2. Obtain long hair
I don't have a problem with being patient to get long hair(it's not the easiest thing, but I don't have a problem w/ it). I feel like I've seen less hair retention in the past 3 months of being a free-strand natural than in the last 3 months when I had dreads. The maintenance and care associated with free-strand naturalness is very difficult with truly thick hair.
I was going to post about the fact that I don't see a lot of REAL 4b naturals w/ long hair on blogs/fotki (will post later) - this is probably why. The kinkier your hair is, the tougher it is to manage. Proper management leads to growth, thus it's probably not that we can't grow our hair long, it's probably just that the free-strandedness of our kinky coils makes it EXTREMELY difficult to achieve desired lengths!
Basically, I'm fed up with my free-strand hair, and when I had locks, I never complained about my hair. Right now, I'm battling: bad ends - they're knotted & dry AFTER my trim, dry scalp *although this was always an issue for me*, overall dry hair *no moisturizing regimen seems to work*, poor hair rentention *when I comb it out while washing, I always lose a lot*. I think I'm going back...
Straight hair...gasp
Ok, this is the last time I will comment on the infrequency of my posting, lol, smh. I just think it's funny, and I really want to make a point of posting every week, but I don't/haven't.
So, focusing on the title of this post. I straightened my hair - not chemically - just with a little heat. Another thing, I didn't do it myself (or I would be looking like Condoleezza Rice), I got it done. While I was in the chair getting blown out and straightened, I was reminded of the HORROR, YES, AB-SO-LUTE HORROR of getting my hair done. The heat from the blow-dryer on my skin, heat from the ceramic iron on my scalp, brushing of my kinky hair, etc. I really wanted to take a nap when I got home. This pain is really just a custom among black women (at least among the black women I know).
Even worse, my ends were AWFUL! I had to get a trim, but healthy ends lead to more hair growth, so I wasn't upset about loosing the length. I was upset to find out that my regimen is not working - as evident by my rough ends.
The hair came out super cute though. I've totally been able to play "in-cog-negro" as folks have not even recognized me.
This is temporary. I will be back, happy and nappy soon I'm sure. Also, I'm encouraged to try more styling within protective styles - my goal will be one/week so that I do update more often.
So, focusing on the title of this post. I straightened my hair - not chemically - just with a little heat. Another thing, I didn't do it myself (or I would be looking like Condoleezza Rice), I got it done. While I was in the chair getting blown out and straightened, I was reminded of the HORROR, YES, AB-SO-LUTE HORROR of getting my hair done. The heat from the blow-dryer on my skin, heat from the ceramic iron on my scalp, brushing of my kinky hair, etc. I really wanted to take a nap when I got home. This pain is really just a custom among black women (at least among the black women I know).
Even worse, my ends were AWFUL! I had to get a trim, but healthy ends lead to more hair growth, so I wasn't upset about loosing the length. I was upset to find out that my regimen is not working - as evident by my rough ends.
The hair came out super cute though. I've totally been able to play "in-cog-negro" as folks have not even recognized me.
This is temporary. I will be back, happy and nappy soon I'm sure. Also, I'm encouraged to try more styling within protective styles - my goal will be one/week so that I do update more often.
Various Hair Styles: Braid/Twist, Straws & Big French Braid
I totally went on a hiatus, but that's ok b/c like I said before, I have yet to get a real blog "followers" base, which is fine. Not to mention, I was experiencing some [hear church music playing in back] "life changes."
Quick Half-Marathon/Running Update: My running buddy from work left for grad school so I'm running on my own time now. It's tough to stay motivated at times so I'm desperately looking for a running buddy. Last Saturday when I ran I got caught in the middle of a rain storm and ran with 10 pounds of water on me - [in sarcastic voice] it was great! Last Sunday I ran another 5 miler. I did 2.5 on Tuesday *I had eaten a burger for lunch so that was a TOUGH 2.5*. I will also try to run today.
Hair updates!!! Style Trials
I've really been looking at my hair like...damn, should I have kept my locs? I love being natural, it's nothing about that, but this thick ish on my head is A LOT OF WORK!!! Locs were very low maintenance, and best of all - I always looked good (i.e. my hair was always 'done'). I have been keeping up with trying new styles.
Me with another half braided/twist do (front/back views):
This was cute for me, and it lasted very well.
Here's a pic of me trying a straw set. It failed HORRIBLY on my hair. I mean, you can definitely tell I tried it, but I just didn't like the look for me.
FINALLY, I've been seeing all these long-haired girls with these big side-swiped french braids. I LOVE the style and totally wanted to try it for myself. So I did! I did have to blow dry my hair to get the length necessary for the braids. However, I love the style so much (and hate to blow-dry) so I might see if my hair is long enough for the style if I let it air dry in bantu knots.
I only parted it in the front half and had the two braids meet in the back. I kept this style for 5 days and took out the back half when I was tired of it - still very cute!
Quick Half-Marathon/Running Update: My running buddy from work left for grad school so I'm running on my own time now. It's tough to stay motivated at times so I'm desperately looking for a running buddy. Last Saturday when I ran I got caught in the middle of a rain storm and ran with 10 pounds of water on me - [in sarcastic voice] it was great! Last Sunday I ran another 5 miler. I did 2.5 on Tuesday *I had eaten a burger for lunch so that was a TOUGH 2.5*. I will also try to run today.
Hair updates!!! Style Trials
I've really been looking at my hair like...damn, should I have kept my locs? I love being natural, it's nothing about that, but this thick ish on my head is A LOT OF WORK!!! Locs were very low maintenance, and best of all - I always looked good (i.e. my hair was always 'done'). I have been keeping up with trying new styles.
Me with another half braided/twist do (front/back views):
This was cute for me, and it lasted very well.
Here's a pic of me trying a straw set. It failed HORRIBLY on my hair. I mean, you can definitely tell I tried it, but I just didn't like the look for me.
FINALLY, I've been seeing all these long-haired girls with these big side-swiped french braids. I LOVE the style and totally wanted to try it for myself. So I did! I did have to blow dry my hair to get the length necessary for the braids. However, I love the style so much (and hate to blow-dry) so I might see if my hair is long enough for the style if I let it air dry in bantu knots.
I only parted it in the front half and had the two braids meet in the back. I kept this style for 5 days and took out the back half when I was tired of it - still very cute!